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Name
|
Position
|
Profile
|
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Ian Radford |
Goalkeeper |
Excellent handling, superb
positioning, cracking delivery. Shame all of this is at cricket. |
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Gooner Jr |
Defender |
Skillful at right back, consistent
performer. Shit at remembering to bring the water bottles. |
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Griffo |
Defender |
Club veteran and a fine defender.
Saves his best performances for putting the nets up. |
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Gooner |
Defender |
Another Dresden veteran,
who can play well anywhere on the park. More often than not pissed
following a missed train back from the Arsenal. |
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Craig Robinson
|
Defender |
A dependable defender who
will run up and down the pitch all day if required. Puts the rest
of the squads fitness to shame. |
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Dom |
Defender |
King of Megs. A fine
left back. However, is more often 'left back' in Clearys until 8am.
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Flan |
Defender |
Another dependable defender,
who has a somewhat unpredictable eye for goal. |
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Matt Potter |
Defender |
Matt returns to the club
after a few years. The club have to take on extra sponsorship to accomodate
the extra half time pop expenses. |
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Buffhead |
Midfielder |
Spencers webbed feet enable
him to glide past defenders with ease. Often leaving them with an
overpowering stench of ale. |
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Ian Robinson
|
Midfielder |
Midfield general, desipite
managing to get scythed down on a regular basis. Current player of the year.
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Ash |
Midfielder |
Can be found patrolling the
midfield for the first 10 minutes. Spends the other 80 wheezing around
the centre circle smelling of meths and madras. |
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Yid |
Midfielder |
Not a regular performer,
but owner of a cultured left foot. And a record collection including
Bruce Sprinsteen and Labi Siffre. |
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|
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Dabs
|
Midfielder |
A new player who comes to
the club looking to score a few goals. And drink an excessive amount
of beer. |
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Ben |
Midfielder /
Attacker |
Returns to the team following
a years hiatus. Weighs in with the goals and creation of goals, despite
having more pins & scars than Evil Knievel. |
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Keithy |
Attacker |
Despite scoring one or two
goals, guarantees to provide the entertainment with a 1-in-5 shots on target
ratio. |
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Alex
|
Attacker |
A fine player either as an
attacker or midfielder. Very consistent. At turning up at 10.35am
when the game kicks off at 10.30am. |
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Dave Harper |
Attacker |
Returns to the club to ensure
that the legend of folically challenged Dresden strikers continues. |